Duno why....

That day my sis bought a pack of Ikan Satay,
You know Ikan Satay?
Its one of my favourite food, yummy~
But something more interesting happens here :))



The packet wrotes that its net weight is 4gm....
(You cant see properly la coz its blur, is like dis wan lar, cheap-plug handphone mar...)
But....
I found something weird....



How come this is 4gm and that is 4gm too, but they have big difference??

Erm...Ahar! Well, you know I am so ximart mar, of course I can figure out the reason la!

Maybe the workers used different ways to weigh the packets,
the worker who weighed the left hand side packet used the machine to weigh,
but the worker who weighed the right hand side packet didnt use the machine, he used his own hand to weigh,
and coincidentally, he was wearing watch, so thats the reason why he "miss-weighed" this packet....

Must be like this la, I oso know wan lar, Ii so ximart, hahaha~
If not how come such thing will happen lar, right?
Must be this reason la~


(-___-").......

心理测验

问题

观察一下自己或身为女子的她，喜欢穿什么样的鞋子？
A. 高跟鞋
B. 运动休闲鞋
C. 凉鞋
D. 学生鞋

分析

A. 高跟鞋

喜欢穿高跟鞋的女子，个性成熟大方，喜欢思考，头脑聪明。 在生活及工作上都相当进则与努力，对周围的人事物要求会比较高，但是因为想要的东西太多，有时会因为无法满足而脾气不佳。 一般来说，这样的女子比较适合坦诚相对，如国你想要追求她，就大方的对她好，关心她，如果她觉得你是一个值得交往的对象，通常她不会故意摆架子刁难你。


B. 运动休闲鞋

喜欢穿运动及休闲鞋的女性，表面上看来大而化之，容易相处，但是她非常会保护自己，警觉性很强。 外表很容易和男生打成一片，其实她们都把这些男生当成同性朋友一般，反而对于心理喜欢的那一位，保持距离敬而远之。 一般朋友比较难看出她的心事，在坚强的防卫之下，其实她有非常脆弱的情感。


C. 凉鞋

喜欢穿凉鞋的女孩子对自己相当有自信，喜欢将自己美好的一面表现出来。 一般而言她的人缘不错，朋友也不少，对异性也很有兴趣。 不过有时候会对男友要求较多，希望对方意见与自己一样，而且个性颇为固执，不容易说服。 如果要当她的男友，可能要有耐心及多替她着响。


D. 学生鞋

喜欢穿学生样式，造型简单鞋子的女子，个性单纯敏感，家庭教育严谨，容易压抑自己的情感。 一般来说爸妈可能管得比较紧，或是学校，工作场所风气较为保守，所以平时言行比较内敛，但是这样的女子其实内心会想尝试一些冒险的经历，要小心旅行时容易受骗

Mum's Joke

姐姐的同事打電話到家裡來, 媽媽接電話......

同事﹕喂, Cynthia 在嗎 ? (p/s: Cynthia 是姐姐的英文名)

媽媽﹕姓 Chia ? 我們家個個都是姓 Chia 的, 你要找哪個姓 Chia 的?

同事﹕Aunty.....我要找 Cynthia......

這就是我家媽媽經典的笑話, 哈哈哈哈~~~

Cheese steamboat

SY: Eh, when will u all go eat 芝士火鍋(read in cantonese) ﹖

Me: ......y u scold me 痴線婆(read in cantonese too) ﹖:-s

SY: ...................

Band 5 ? Pendrive ?

My fren: Have u taken ur MUETS?

Me: Haven o...

My fren: Wah, faster take lor~

Me: Anoh...

My fren: U know, XXX got band 5 for MUETS leh~

Me: WAH!!! Sit for MUETS can get pendrive oo??? so good??

My fren: ......(-__-") is BAND 5.. not PENDRIVE... deaf...

Cut Shit

One day, my ex-housemate was complaining dat her house's stool was having a problem.. owz cant flush de shits away (sorry if u're eating)

K: yo~, recently so fed up lar, owz cant flush away de shits aftr berak

Me: haha, anoh, last time when i stil staying there oso like dat

K: owz nid to flush so many times, waste water leh..

Me: i teach u an effective way so dat u can flush it easily, when u berak-ing, use ur ass to cut ur shits into small shits, evenly, then i can confirm dat ur shits wil be flushed away, hahahahahahahaha~~~

K: (-__-"") ................

Hahahaha, i am so disgusting rite? :p but i prefer u use "smart" to describe me, hahahaha~

KLCC Aquaria

My sis, my little cousin and me went to KLCC Aquaria,
when we reached there, there was a looooong queue,
phew, lili looooong..... u noe, is dis <-------------------------------------------------------------------> loooong...

So we started to queue up..
while we were chatting, suddenly a malay guy "squeezed in" and stood infront of me, and somemore act like nothing happens..
(-__-") i was like "huh?? wat de shit !! u no nid to queue up ar ??"

I was veli angry and "hot" dat time.. suddenly my sis saw something on de floor, it was a parking ticket which dropped out from de guy's pocket, but he din realized abt dat, my bad sis quickly stepped on de ticket and whispered to my little cousin sis :" Sophia, pick it up", muahahahaha~~

Guess wat we did wif dat ticket, we threw it into de dustbin...
Now u noe, the Chia sisters are devils, dun try to enrage them, ngek ngek ngek~

God ar, plz 4giv me....

Yahoo ID : -__-"

One day, while i was chatting wif my fren in yahoo messenger, he told me something funny, haha..

Below is de conversation btw he and his fren:

KC: I wan CY's ym id, i wan2 chat

CH: -___-"

KC: dis wan is her yahoo id?

Hahahahaha~~~ y got ppl such blur wan.... mayb nx time we can try to use dis -____-" as our yahoo id, haha...

The fruit stallholder and me - Part II

When i was walking home, i passed by a fruit stall [fruit stall again??..(-_-")]
As i told u, i like to eat mango, so i stopped to buy a pack of mango [mango again??..(-_-") but dis time i got enuf money to pay, hehe :D] , aftr i paid de $...

De conversation btw us is in cantonese:

Stallholder: lei yew gar mud yeh? (wat kind of flavour do u wan2 add?)

Me: Wu jiu fen (pepper)

Stallholder: Har? (shocked)

Me: Wu jiu fen (thinking: Are u deaf, wan me to repeat how many times har..)

Stallholder: Xun mui fen hai mm hai? (u mean "sour powder" izit?)

Me: (realized that i've talked something wrong) err... hai ya hai ya(yaya)... (lili paiseh ooo~~!!!)

Aih...y i so blur wan.... (-___-"")

Paderi vs San Fu

One day, while i was chatting wif my fren in ym, he told me dat his housemate was drunk de day before, until they have to fetch him to clinic.

Below is our conversation in ym:

CH: They fetch him to clinic dis morning

Me: Ohh, icic, haha..

CH: Haha, so serious merr

Me: Who fetch? Anoh, so serious meh? (plz take note dat there are 2 questions here)

CH: ES fetch gua, if not mistaken. Duno lerr, mayb sanfu gua (my frens and me like to mix some cantonese when we chat)

Me: sanfu? paderi fetch him?(priest in BM) (shocked)

CH: Hahahahahahaha...... (he started to luff like shit)

Me: (stil blur) Where got sanfu(priest) here?

CH: Hahahahahahahahahaha.....(seems like gona luff die) Sanfu=Painful (in cantonese, sanfu can be translated as 'priest' or 'painful')

Then i started to luff like shit too...hahaha...until my tears oso come out :p
Actually de "sanfu" is de answer for my 2nd question --> "So serious meh?" But dis is not my fault mar.... fuiyoyo...

The ice cream Ah Pek

Last sem, our volleyball club had a trip + beach volley competition at PD
Wel, u noe, the weather is lili hot mar, so ice cream is a MUST for us :D

Below is de conversation between me & de ice cream ahpek:

Me: (thinking : which flavour leh...kacang merah looks nice...) ada flavour Corn tak?

Ahpek: ada ada (by de time, dis ahpek quickly put his hand in his ice cream box and took out a corn ice cream,and his eyes was like expecting me to pay $ liao..)

Me: ohh, saya tak mau corn, saya mau kacang merah

My frens all were "squeezed" by me aftr they heard wat i said, hahaha..

The fruit stallholder and me - Part I

One morning, mum din prepare breakfast, so i walked to de stalls outside to tapao my breakfast.
I brought RM3 along wif me, enuf for a pack of "lou xu(mouse) fern gon lou".. hehe..

While i was waiting for my breakfast, i saw a fruit stall outside de shop, erm...suddenly i wanted to buy a pack of mango, dats my favourite mar..

So i walked towards the stall and took a pack of mango...
When i jz wanted to pay $.. Oh My God..i got RM3 oni..if i buy dis mango, i dun hv enuf $ to pay for my breakfast lor??? shit lor... the stallholder was looking at me and waiting for me to pay...wat mz i do leh...veli paiseh wan leh..

*Dring*.. suddenly, dis intelligent me got an idea :D

I placed de pack of mango bck to de original place.. then.. below is de conversation btw de stallholder and me:

Me: Eh, dun have jambu oo? (i've 'browsed' over all the fruits dat she sells and there is no jambu there)

Stallholder: Dont have oo

Me: Aiya, then i dun1 lor (muahahahahahaha~~)

Then i quickly walked into de shop, took my breakfast and quickly walked bck home..
phew...lili damn paiseh...hahaha~ but my "intelligence" save me, wahahaha~

When i told dis joke to my frens, they asked me bck,
"How if de stallholder lili take out a pack of jambu from de box under de table?"
Wahaha~ why i din think of that before..dat was so close.. Phew~

问米婆的故事

你有听过“问米婆“吗？知唔知乜野系问米婆啊？

早排，听亲戚话，有个问米婆好灵，所以我同屋企人就去问阿爸个事。。。

个日，同行嗝有阿妈，阿姐，阿哥，阿哥个女朋友同埋我，

阿婆俾我地一张纸，写低要问边个，八字，墓碑号码，
但系我地唔记得左个墓碑号码，不过阿婆话可以试下，请唔到唔收钱，

跟住，阿婆就问，
“你地要问谢胜文啊？”
“系啊”
“葬系边啊？”
“孝恩园”
跟住，阿婆就在纸上写低 “孝恩园”，
（对住阿妈问）“你系谢胜文个老婆啊？”
“系啊”

然后就用手系盒度揸左D米（真系一D），可能阿婆觉得D米太少，唔系几好意思， 就话：“今日好多人来问米啊”，跟住就将D米撒系地下，但系地下除左头先阿婆撒D米，无其他米嘞啵，莫非之前D人来问个阵，无撒米？。。。

开场啦~

阿婆念念有词，跟住就向住阿妈话：“老婆，我系谢胜文啊，你揾我上来乜事啊？”（奇怪，我没听过老公会对老婆甘称呼自己。。。）

“你系谢胜文啊？你知唔知边个来左？”
“我知，我老婆同仔女嘛”

“你记得你有几多个仔女吗？”
“唔。。。唔。。。（抬头望住我地）四个嘛” （四个？阿妈几时生多左一件？阿婆，你系唔系断人头计啊？。。。）

“你记得你以前住边度吗？”
“唔。。。唔。。。唔记得啰”
“唔记得？你唔记得以前住边度啊?"
“唔。。。我依家住系。。富贵山庄。。（望下张纸）唔。。孝恩园”（阿婆，问你以前住边度，你九唔搭八已经够啦，仲要搭错忝。。。）

“你记得你以前系边度做工吗？”
“唔。。。唔。。。”
“记得吗？”
“唔。。。。。。唔。。。。。。唔记得左”（阿爸静系做过一份工，一做就做左二三十年，有无可能会唔记得啊？）

跟住，唔知系唔系发觉自己错漏百出，阿婆抬头话：“请唔到喔”，揸到我地哔哔声。。。。

阿婆，请唔到就唔好扮请到，乱认乱答啦。。。(-_-")